come on ya lets enjoy

A friend of mine has recently come over from france, so, i'm back in chandigarh trying to have a good time. Suddenly I realise that having fun without any restrictions, such as having your worried parents stay awake in worry, is actually no fun. Not having some spanner in the works while your friends are busy with other engagements is somewhat of a damper on your spirits...anyway, i'll try and have fun.

oh, and my viral is just fine, thank you.

You! you're the sick man!!!

In my efforts to take care of my hypochondriac roommate, who is struggling with a bout of viral fever, I too have contracted the very same illness (comments regarding our "relationship" are unwelcome, TYVM.)

In addition to getting a viral infection, I also seem to have a pus sore Inside my throat, which makes my illness a potent combination of viral and bacterial infections. I was a rather toasty 102 Fahrenheit last evening, which was kept at bay by sitting under a cool shower, with my feet and head cooled with ice. I finally went to the doctor at about nine in the evening, who prescribed me a whole plethora of antibiotics to keep the infection(s) at bay.

In retrospect, all I can say is that this sort of thing was bound to happen, given that I did not fall sick at all during my Amrika stay. Not falling ill weakens you from within, and coming back to a land rife with all manner of illnesses is somewhat perilous.

I hope to back on my feet in a couple of days.

yes, i can still post!!!

So, it's been a longish pause between posts, I know, but the good folks at Airtel are too stupid to understand a simple address change. To the deepest, darkest corner of hell with them.

Anyway, it's 0320 in the morning, it's a Sunday, and I have spent the past two days doing something or the other for my brother's impending trip, not that he seems to be satisfied. as I type, Jennifer lopez is attempting to entertain a stadia full of Portuguese in Lisbon, at the unveiling of the"new" seven wonders of the world, and even though this has nothing to do with me, I'm so bloody flabbergasted at the whole shebang. I never thought the seven wonders of the world got outdated in the first place.

what a sham. I don't care two hoots if the Taj wins.

Sumeet And Torea do Patiala

Ok, so I have been a lazy bum over the past couple of weeks, not posting, not working, not updating...nothing! So, in order to jumpstart my floundering blog, I have put up some pictures of Sumeet and Torea's trip to the Ancestral town, to say goodbye. So, come one, come all, and enjoy the pics on Flickr here.

I'm also thinking....this whole blog needs a total revamp...the title and everything. I'm not in the US anymore, so I think the webpage should reflect that. keep on visiting for changes...

Yeah, yeah, will post soon!

Are You Dead Yet?

....Is the question the handful or so of my readers may be asking. No, sorry to disappoint, but i'm not as dead as some individuals would like me to be. I've just been keeping very busy lately.

First of all, was the onerous task of getting my finances in good shape, so that I could pay my college fees and get admission. this is easier said than done when the cheque with your money on it does not get encashed in time. Then you have to use your mother's ATM card (illegally) to get all the money out and stand in line at the good ol' SBI, to get a demand draft made.

The real kicker comes when you go to college and the admissions person can't find your file anywhere. You wait for a day, and then the file magically appears! This, you realise is because you came to the office way too close to lunchtime on the first day! Anyway, in ten minutes, all is well, and you are officially a student of IHM - Pusa.

So here I am, finally in Patiala, visiting Family and completing my courier services by distributing whatever my mom found suitable to distribute. after this is a few days (and nights) of enjoyment with friends in chandigarh. WooHoo!

Gatecrashing a wedding

...Is not one of my favourite pastimes. A few days after my arrival in India (which I shall discuss in a subsequent post) My brother and his motley crew of photojournalists convinced me to tag along with them to the wedding of one of their kith. I happened to be lugging about my camera, so I took some pictures of my splendidly-dressed brother and his equally resplendent wife.

Also accompanying me were the proud parents of a certain Gurmehar Singh Romana, who were more than happy to be finally able to go out and show off their baby.

Click here to see the pictures!

Should I blog?

Live from Newark!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, here I am, reporting to you, Live, On the spot from Liberty Newark International Airport, with the cosmopolitan skyline of New York obscured by the giant cranes loading containers off ships from the riverfront. Not the view I had hoped for....

Well, after all the deliberations regarding the excess baggage, I ended up with one very heavy, very cumbersome suitcase, and one which was just about under the maximum free baggage regulation. Fearing I'd have to pay through my nose to get the white elephant on board, I cautiosly approached the baggage counter, and explained my unique travel plan, that led me to buy two separate tickets for what could be accomplished with one, and the excess baggage. surprisingly, I was able to get my cargo tagged and automatically forwarded to Delhi, and ended up just paying $25 extra for the overweight suitcase. Now, let's hope that my precious belongings get there safe and sound...

The flight from Sarasota to Newark was somewhat faster than expected, as I landed in Newark a full 25 minutes before schedule. During the flight, I was feeling somewhat Gassy, rather like an LNG pipeline, as my intestines rumbled and roared within. So as soon as I got off the plane, I found a restroom and produced the longest fart ever to be rendered by my anus. I swear I could have got the aircraft from Sarasota to Newark just with that prodigious stream of plasma.

On emptying my innards, I proceeded to consume the following-


1. A bottle of sparkling Acqua Minerale
2. A glass of Clos-du-bois 2002 Merlot Red, which accompanied a-
3. A 10 - oz. Filet Mignon, done medium but a bit charred on the edges,
4. A plate of Mushrooms sauteed in butter.
5. A couple of hard bread rolls, with unsalted butter.


Total cost- An unreasonable $ 55.


That should keep me nicely settled for a while.

And here I am, It's about seven-thirty, sand they begin boarding in a half hour; finishing off what will be my last post from America. Which brings me to think about the very purpose of this blog. I hope it has been as enjoyable and informative for my audience, as it has been for me to write.

Thank you, Everybody.

looking sexy while flying across the atlantic

With just 2 days to go, I am left with nothing to do. I have tried to re-pack and adjust things in my overweight cases for the sake of shaving off a few grams here or there, but it looks like I'll have to carry atleast one overweight suitcase, despite having to leave behind so many things. Worst of all, there is no way of accurately telling how much the luggage weighs, as our $5 weighing scale tends to be very optimistic, and there are no friendly neighbourhood flour mills where you could make use of their balance scales. Mom's clinic has a large floor-mounted weighing scale(that is fluent in metric) which may come to our rescue.

There is also this strange, fervent last-minute spending spree that is coming on, and despite me knowing that I have neither the money or the payload, I am beside myself with ideas of what else I'd like to buy.

Thanks to the hefty luggage, I have no choice but to use the garish red-and blue el-cheapo stroller luggage, already coming apart, and held together with Krazy Glue (not kidding) for my carry-on baggage. My smart and sexy black laptop bag will ride in the confines of my large suitcase in the belly of the plane. I have this thing about looking cool while travelling, It's as if I had to attend a high-power exec meeting as soon as I got off the bird. As It became clear that the mass of my cargo would be a lot more than fashionable, I knew that the idealised picture I had in my noggin, with me sitting comfortably in an airport lounge, sipping on a espresso, with my laptop flurrying across the WiFi; or on the plane, with a good view and a comely airhostess, was not to be. I had better be prepared for another agonizing 24 hours of travel, complete with loud jet engines(thank you, Boeing and GE) louder infants in mid-flight, sweaty, smelling uncles who like to cuddle, robotic airhostesses, and bad weather.

Piece of advice- Never, ever buy bargain-basement priced luggage, even if you travel once a year or less. I'd rather buy something decent and reliable rather than cheap and disposable, even for a single trip.

You know, stuff...

The Shopping is now complete. All I have to do is try and distribute the weight into 2 suitcases equally, so that I may avoid paying the $25 per piece overweight baggage penalty.

I have no space left.

The suitcases are full, both by weight, and by volume. And some of my stuff is still left outside. I am now faced with the difficult task of deciding what goes and what stays behind in America. My daily work clothes, that include all my chef coats and pants, tee-shirts, and stuffy work socks are not coming along anyway. The Anti-slip sole chef shoes I purchased for work are now quite grotty, fungus-infested and are otherwise coming apart. It makes no sense to take those along, right?
Some of my other tee-shirts are quite worn, so I may leave those too...let's see, what else?...A large and very heavy Lava-lamp, something a friend of mine is desperate to lay claim to, will have to stay put. So will the various computer-related paraphernalia that I have gathered over time. And then there are my toiletries, which are numerous, and all of which will stay behind as well. I do not see the idea behind carrying about halved bottles of conditioner and aftershave.

Still, it amazes me. the capacity of man to surround himself with material things. When I came here, all I had were my clothes, my books and little else. Everything neatly packed into two suitcases. Now, I am returning with the same number of cases, but I have had to leave so much behind, it feels so utterly wasteful. All the energy I've expended, all the money I've spent, all the things I've gathered, wasted. I tried so hard not to end up in this consumerist claptrap of buying anything I lay my eyes on, and to an extent, I succeeded. I resisted the urge to buy a pair of Ralph Lauren/CK/DKNY/Diesel jeans. I steered away from Home Depot as much as I could. I controlled the desire to buy a half-pound of a San Daniele ham at $70 a pound. I did not buy the very expensive vial of white truffle oil. I did not uncork a single bottle of wine. Most of all, I still have not been lured to commit the ultimate act of self-indulgence, and buy an iPod. Still, I have ended up with so much...stuff.

Now accepting Questions-II

In my previous post, I described some of the questions that I had to face and give a suitable reply to in my last days at the Olive Garden. Some questions, such as the one regarding crime and punishment in India, were truly ridiculous, but maybe I forgot to imply the earnestness of my interrogators. Most of the queries fielded were asked with what could be interpreted as the utmost sincerity, and I did my best to reply to each question with due tact and accuracy.

I admire the courage of my former co-employees, for deciding to come out of their collective bubbles, and reaching out. One of them even remarked that he/she had not paid much attention in school, so did not know a lot about the rest of the world. I find that sort of sincerity and earnestness commendable. It takes real courage for a person to admit one's shortcomings and correct them.

What I find disappointing is the fact that my interaction with my former collegues was at its peak only at the very beginning and the very end of my employment. We had so many chances to sit and exchange ideas and share knowledge, but somehow, the Insulation tape that is found wound about the heads of many people came undone only at the peaks of my time there. I did not mind the questions, rather, I welcomed them; but my point is that this has demonstrated a tendency that seems to be part of the American psyche in general- That people will only be interested in anything other than their own only when it directly affects them. Very few people, who were otherwise intelligent and educated, showed any curiosity or a willingness to exchange ideas. Why, I ask, are people so content to bask in what they know, and shun what they do not, until it affects them in some way? To limit your worldview within the expanse of your nationality is ignoring the fact that the world we live in is changing fast, cultures are being exported, imported, and adopted, and if you cannot connect with others, you will weaken the health of your society from within.

In a way, this is my fault. My admittedly sporadic attempts to forge meaningful links were misread, misled and misinterpreted, because I could not trade in the same cultural currency that my peers did, which seems to be the dominant mode of social interaction. It was not possible for both me and the others to relate to each other, owing to our different materiel cultures that had but a few things in common. I had hoped to learn so much from people in my own age group, and people older than me, and help ourselves achieve a better understanding of these times, but this was just not to be. Instead, I had a sort of press conference both on my arrival and at my departure, with nothing more than soundbytes flowing in one direction.

What a shame. My ears and eyes, always alert, beheld so much. But for me, it is nothing more than hearsay, data collected at random, presenting crude, unprocessed shapes and colours instead of a coherent picture. If only we could share, I would be able to say with conviction that I lived and connected with the heartbeat of a nation other than my own. but by far, all I have to show for my time here are these words, those opinions I have presented before, and a faint glimmer of hope that my views are flawed, something that I have yet to prove to myself with substantial evidence. I have learnt nothing, and have given nothing.

No journey is complete until you understand your destination.

Now accepting questions...

I just came back from what will be my last 'proper' day at work, another not-so-gruelling day on the line, and a quick hosing-down of the kitchen, to end the day. I will be working on Sunday, when it is Mother's Day in the USA, but my job on that day will be mainly supplementary, as the entire kitchen staff will be present, sweating it out on the line.

Most Of the Restaurant knew I was leaving, but as I made it clear that Sunday will be my last day, I noticed a rather strange shift in the temperament of those around me. People who had not exchanged a complete sentence with me over the past four months came over to ask why I was leaving. People who I did converse with on a regular basis, fielded questions, ranging from personal to just stupid. Some of them are reproduced below, with as much fidelity as permitted by memory.

Q: Why are you going back? Do you hate white people?
A: Er, No, Not particularly.

Q:How far is India?/How long does it take to get there?
A: well, to put it simply, it is halfway across the planet/About seventeen hours by the shortest flight.

Q: Is India a rich or poor country?
A: Define 'rich' or 'poor', but in general, yes, it is what could be called 'poor'

Q: Is India Clean or Dirty?
A: Well, It is rather dirty in places, but pristine in a few.

Q: Are there roads in India?
A: Yes, in most places, but not as wide and smooth as they are here. Plus, we drive on the left.
Q: You drive?
A: Er, Yes. Cars and Motorcycles are pretty commonplace.

Q: Are you really from Pakistan/Afghanistan/Iran/Iraq?
A: . . . . . . . . . . . . . No.

Q: Do they cut off your hands if you steal something in India?
A: Well, they break each of your fingers according to the value of what you may have stolen. (A pause. Sarcasm is exposed by my laughter) no, we do not. We have an Independent Judiciary, based on the British system of Law.

Q: What language do they speak in India?
A: There are twenty-two official languages, plus hundreds of local dialects spoken across the country. Depends on what state you're in.
Q: You Middle-Easterners sure speak a lot of languages, don't you?
A: Um, India is not located in the part of the world known as the Middle east. India is in South Asia.

Q:(Surprise Question!) Were you affected by the Tsunami?
A: Yes, Our Islands were terribly hit, as well as the eastern coast. I used to live quite deep inland.

Q: Does everybody have 3 wives?
A: Not that I know of. It's technically legal for certain sections of society, but nobody really marries 3 wives.

Q: Are you married/Do you have children?
A: HELL NO!!

Q: Will we ever see you again?
A: Never.

Olivia Ruiz - La Femme Chocolat

Over the years, friends and acquaintances have brought music, both good and detestable, to the attention of my ears. an example of the former would be Olivia Ruiz, the French singer who has given us this delightful song, the video of which is available for your viewing pleasure below.



Even though my French is horrible, and French lyrics contain a lot of metaphors, they are still somewhat simple, and a quick lookup in a dictionary will yield some comprehension. But, as everyone knows, words and languages become immaterial when it comes to good music; because music has its own tongue, that speaks to something beyond our literary senses. This does not imply that language is unnecessary in the expression of music, but it is just another instrument, like so many, built upon the genius of the lyricist and the talent of the vocalist.

UN peacekeeping mission lands in USA

From: Sarasota airport,

Report by: PS

As the Resurgent UN clamped down on a completely chaotic and lawless United States, The widely anticipated arrival of the UN Peacekeeping mission in this part of the country was met with a taciturn acknowledgment by the local warlords, Who had expressed concerns for the safety of the expectedly 13,000-strong International Coalition force. However, their concerns turned to surprise and utter confusion amongst the local factions as the aircraft carrying the first contingent yielded just one man.

A Single UN peacekeeper, resplendent in his all-olive green combat uniform, and blue beret(ahem, Patka) was seen disembarking the plane by this reporter and others. Questions about the heavily armed UN force soon evaporated as the nature of this single person was known. It is now clear that the UN has decided to send one Sardar, who has been given the peacekeeping responsibilities of close to 10,000 troops and 3000 officers. The Solitary peacekeeper, when interviewed by this reporter, revealed his joy and excitement at the outset of his tour of duty, and was supremely confident about his ability to take on the unruly Street gangs of the Tampa Bay area, with his formidable arsenal of Tea-cozies, Lamb pickle and popadums, taking the place of the more conventional Armoured Personnel Carrier, Riot Control shield and Flak jacket.









In this publicity photo-op, the one-man army, comfortably divested of his uniform, is seen admiring the scenery around his command post, over tea and biscuits.

Family Memories

My extended family is often looked upon by friends and others as an ideal image. The way we are constantly engaging, meeting, loving, supporting, counseling, and living together is something that seems to be missing in most other extended families. I suppose our family is one that could fall into the joint family category, but with the extensibility and freedom that is offered by a nuclear family. A perfect combination.

As the years have gone by, I have come to the realization that this perfect cocoon that we so value is going to be a thing of the past very soon. Within the span of 3 years, we have spread all over the globe, in the pursuit of a better life, better lifestyles and more. We still actively engage, meet, love, support, counsel, and 'live' together, but only over the telephone, or the internet, or through the written word. I hope this lasts. I hope against the overriding logical conclusion that I have come to, that we are drifting. Apart, or together, I do not know.

Still, here is a picture of my mother, aged 4 years, with my grandfather, and the grandmother I never knew. She has always said how lucky she feels to have come into a family like ours, and although she is optimistic about the future, I have my reservations.

Digital tomfoolery in the picture is sponsored in part by-

Hearsay

Working in a place full of people other than your own gives one the unique position of being a perfect fly on the wall. Often, I find myself standing in the middle of of the line, between two people, who are having a very spirited debate; comments and opinions being tossed across with the same alacrity as one tosses a bag of broccoli and peppers across the line. I am in the middle of it all, rather in the thick of all the dialogue, saying nothing but hearing everything.

Hearing what everyone is saying about anything, without you being an influencing factor is indeed a quality any observer would like to have on his or her side. Sometimes, I put my brain on automatic, cooking things off as they come on, keeping up with the primary function of my presence in the kitchen, while my ears scan the air like radars for a glimpse into the mindset of America.

To get a Glimpse into this world, Anyone who is not equipped with a Television set is at a disadvantage, for most, if not all of the conversation that takes place between the burners and the appetizers counter is centered around that great electronic god, that holiest of electron guns, the most sacred of lord of high-definition, Television. Topics of common interest include- The Sopranos, Family Guy, some comedian named Adam Parola, controversial Bugs Bunny Cartoons, ESPN, and other assorted samplings from the realm of television, too numerous and inane to list here.
Another, most exclusive group, one that is nontheless open to all, yet accessible only to the most fervent of devotees, is centered around the MMORPG, World of Warcraft. At any point, whenever the screens stop beeping and the burners are turned down, the group returns to discussing the best way to deal with something called the Horde, or the latest Blood Elf. The group has a relationship that understandably extends beyond the real world, as they engage with each other and carry out something called a 40-man raid.
One thing that unites all is a common and healthy dislike of the British. Common dialogue that is often repeated is reproduced below (with as much accuracy as my memory permits)

"whatever in the hell is a knightship anyway?(presumably, they mean Knighthood) Do ya have to fight some dude to get it?
Naah, they just give it to any rich guy..i cant believe the made elton john a knight...he must have shined a lotta swords to get it..hyukhyukhyuk!!"

"the treaty of Paris represents the greatest military victory in the world!
Yeah, we showd' em who's who! we don't drink tea an say cheerio!!"

A common competitive game and bonding ritual among the whole group is the ongoing competition to recognise the song being played out on the radio. often, this leads to displays of public power, as the one who gets the most hits exhibits his prowess to the females in the group. throwing small bits of food at the females is also accepted as a form of societal bonding, as is the continual verbal taunting by the quicker of the females.

But now, this account is starting to sound too much like the diary of an anthropologist, and before I say some things that many may deem outright demeaning, I must bring further research to a halt.

interesting primates they certainly are, nonetheless...

Watching the seconds tick away

My bus arrives in about half an hour. I have nothing to do in between, so I crank up the old Toshiba, and blog.

My wallet is still inside the car, which is now about 15 kilometers away. Drat. How am I supposed to pay the $1 fare for the bus ride?

Ah, here's some loose change. Problem solved.

I do not want to go to work today. I need my scheduled day off tomorrow, today.

I pack and re-pack my computer and its various peripherals into the old black backpack, to see if the space provided will suffice for the flight back home, or a newer, larger laptop bag is in order. I think the old one will do, If i pack judiciously, and get a smaller camera bag. I do not need to carry the large one with the battery charger, spare batteries, CF cards and such. I don't really have the money to spend on such items, when there are other priorities, such as the mandatory shopping for family and friends. Those who have specifically asked for certain things, have made it very easy for me. It is those who have not that are a cause for concern. I do not want to return empty-handed, but I just cannot think of what to bring for them. Thinking of the perfect gift is hard work!

I look at my bicycle. who will take care of it now that i'm leaving? not that it matters though. it's just a bike. The one that really took me places was stolen, and this is just a replacement. It's a sad thought, when you consider my tendency to become emotionally attached to machines.

Why am I so melancholy? Ah, I know! I have not tasted the insides of a bottle of beer for over 10 days now. Trying to save money never felt this...dry.

the wonderful world of the internet

One of the things i like the most about the internet is how, when looking for a particular bit of information, you can sometimes come across some completely unrelated, and unusual information. Like this time.

I was googling the web for images of the great composer, Ludwig Van Beethoven, specifically using their useful Image search feature, when I came across a page that explained the various easter traditions of central Europe, including countries such as Poland, Slovenia, The Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary and others. Here is the interesting tidbit I found (and I Quote)-

"One prime example of a pagan Czech Easter celebration is the "pomlazka". Farmers used to believe that a strong whipping after the winter period guaranteed health, prosperity, and most importantly a good harvest. This tradition remains to this day, although slightly modified. It is only the women who are given a good spanking with whips made of willow twigs, decorated with colourful ribbons (as if a little bit of decoration would help to ease the pain!). It is mainly younger boys who go from door to door, hoping to thrash a few girls to get some eggs in return, while singing traditional Easter carols.
The whipping or "pomlazka" is to get rid of all the bad things that had accumulated during the winter and bring the vitality back in the ladies, as well as ensure beauty and, of course, fertility."

Nothing like a good whipping to get the ol' Ovaries going.

the article goes on to quote a woman who reminisces about her ceremonial whippings as a child, and explains how it has now become a sort of game between younger children. That still does not justify what is essentially violence against women, disguised as an innocuous game between children.

i'm sure there are parallels in Indian culture as well, but my question is, how far can you go, when you are trying to balance ancient traditions and modern civility? where is the fine line between the game and the abuse? It can be assumed that the Czech explain to their young the sigificance of this ritual, and educate them about what constitutes fun and what becomes fear. Somehow, I cannot bring myself to expect the same from my own countrymen.

maybe that could fit in here....

So, as the date for my departure draws closer, I have officially commenced my shopping spree. This free run of the malls and online stores is however, only for the stuff my friends have asked for. My own personal shopping has been going on for quite a while at a more slow, sustained rate.


This is what my suitcase looked like about 10 days back, and now even the little space at the top left is occupied by something or the other. I think one bag will have to be delegated entirely to the merchandise i'm bringing over, and one bag will carry all my clothes and books. let us see how the packing works out.