Restaurant Terminology

The professionals among us know, and often abide by, the unwritten rules of language and etiquette prevalent in every sort of job. Every profession too, has its own set of terms and words that may confuse the casual onlooker. So, in an attempt to clear the air around some of the strange words we commonly use in a restaurant, here is a short primer-

1- Eighty-six, or 86'd - this is a term that is used to communicate among workers that a certain item, or a whole dish on the menu, is no longer available, not even in the raw, unprepared state from the deep freezer. It also means that a new batch of the said item will have to be delivered especially for the next day.

Common usage- 'we're 86 on the stuffed chicken!' or ' I've 86'd the beef skewers, no more orders for beef!'

2- cluster-fuck {Adj.} - obviously derived from the phrase 'Cluster-bombing'; made popular during recent years with the constant media attention towards the military tactics used in Afghanistan and Iraq, This is a catch-all phrase for describing a situation where everything has gone off wrong, resulting in returned dishes, dissatisfied guests, and confusion in the back-house areas. Also describes a day, where nothing could possibly get worse for the crew.

Common usage- "Tonight is a total cluster-fuck, dude!" "What a Cluster-Fuck, man!"

3-Nuke {Verb, Adj.} - To quickly cook any item with microwave energy, in a microwave oven. Often used along with the word for a particular item, especially for those items that are not meant to be cooked in a microwave in the first place.

Common usage- "Nuke the chicken, will ya?" "nuke mussels, please!" "nuked fondue is sold!"

4-Jizz, Juice, Spit {Noun, Verb} - The first word may have caught the attention of several prolific web-surfers. Rest assured, it carries a different meaning in the kitchen than the Internet would have led you to believe. These words are often used to describe liquids, such as sauces and creams. Lighter sauces often go by the term 'Spit', while the thicker sauces tend to be called 'Jizz'
Note- Readers, when you hear a cook talking about jizzing or spitting on a dish, please be assured that he is doing something totally hygienic and safe, not as these words would make you think.

5- Fly {Verb} - to "fly' a dish is to prepare the same with any means at hand, in the shortest possible timeframe. This often involves using unorthodox methods and common deception to make a dish look as normal as possible, in spite of being prepared in record time.

Common usage- " I need a fried chicken on the fly!!" " I'm flying this steak!"

Music - Rammstien - Amur Amur (Reise, Reise! - 2004)