A Spinoff from 'Goodness Gracious Me!' on the popular Motoring Show 'Top Gear'
Check out the Male-chauvinist Surdy and the Yorkshire accent!!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
My Chocoholism
While mom worries about the impending binge drinking that may take place when I am set loose upon Indian soil, I am worried about a far more serious issue.
I have taken to chocolate.
It's not as if I have started to consume large quantities of assorted candy, but I have indeed began to eat prodigious amounts of chocolate. My desk at home has a corner reserved exclusively for a few bars of dark chocolate, as well as a handful of chocolate dipped almonds and raisins. My dessert is invariably dark chocolate ice-cream, or mint chocolate cookies, and I drink a cup of hot chocolate truffle every other day.
The Swiss consume over 10 kilos of chocolate per person per annum, of which most is high-quality Dark chocolate. The Americans eat about 5 kilos per annum, with two-thirds of that being in the form of milk chocolate, candy, and chocolate-based sweets. Dark chocolate is preferred by older people, and those who have an acquired taste for it.
I spend about $5-15 each week to support my addiction, which may not seem like a lot of money, but, convert it to rupees, and you have a weekly cost of within the Rs. 500-per-week range. I bet I wouldn't spend that much money on petrol inspite of having the priviledge of riding a gas guzzler.
So, I must reform myself. Living in Delhi will have to be done on a shoestring budget, of about Rs. 6000/- , plus whatever I withdraw from my earnings here(something to be done only in life-and-death situations) In this case, I have to wean myself off the food of the gods., no matter what.
I have taken to chocolate.
It's not as if I have started to consume large quantities of assorted candy, but I have indeed began to eat prodigious amounts of chocolate. My desk at home has a corner reserved exclusively for a few bars of dark chocolate, as well as a handful of chocolate dipped almonds and raisins. My dessert is invariably dark chocolate ice-cream, or mint chocolate cookies, and I drink a cup of hot chocolate truffle every other day.
The Swiss consume over 10 kilos of chocolate per person per annum, of which most is high-quality Dark chocolate. The Americans eat about 5 kilos per annum, with two-thirds of that being in the form of milk chocolate, candy, and chocolate-based sweets. Dark chocolate is preferred by older people, and those who have an acquired taste for it.
I spend about $5-15 each week to support my addiction, which may not seem like a lot of money, but, convert it to rupees, and you have a weekly cost of within the Rs. 500-per-week range. I bet I wouldn't spend that much money on petrol inspite of having the priviledge of riding a gas guzzler.
So, I must reform myself. Living in Delhi will have to be done on a shoestring budget, of about Rs. 6000/- , plus whatever I withdraw from my earnings here(something to be done only in life-and-death situations) In this case, I have to wean myself off the food of the gods., no matter what.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Evil maniac laughter.
Something I could barely control as I singlehandedly Destroyed the hopes and aspirations of hundreds of drunken youth who wanted to get more drunk on St. Patrick's day.
It all began with an invitation. A guy I know at work let me know that there would be 'hammered chicks' everywhere, ripe for the picking at this particular bar he was going to after work, and asked me if I'd like to come along for what he termed the 'muffhunt'
Not having had the chance to go out for such a long time, I agreed to his generous offer.
So, after work, a quick shower, and a quick gargle with the mouthwash(in case of the highly unlikely scenario that I would be required to administer mouth-to-moth resuscitation to an unconscious girl{the whole ending-up-with-a-chick scenario is just too fantastical}) I was ready.
All went well, I was sampling some good Irish Whiskey, while everybody else went beserk on the beer, when some really stupid young white guy started fighting. A minor skirmish, nothing more than drunken posturing and shouting and pushing. As the bouncers ejected the errant youth, we all spilled out of the bar to watch.
Here's when I thought of becoming a responsible citizen, and decided to call the cops.
I walked over to the corner, out of sight, and dialed 911. after being put on hold thrice(what if this was a homocide?) I was connected to the ol' deputy. a few cursory questions later, he hung up. By now, everybody had grown tired of the fight and was back to the drinking. and it was about ten minutes later that the sheriff came and ordered the bar to close.
Anger. despair. rage. all of these emotions ran high in the throng of inebriates, and for one second, I was glad that I wisely kept quiet, and did not brag about my honest citizen's duty. That would have got me lynched.
instead, there was this evil laughter. How easy it was to steal joy from the hearts of the drunkards, how delightful! On the other hand, there were people passing out and puking in every parking lot, and they showed no signs of quitting. Maybe I did them a favour. I had to drop off 2 colleagues to their homes, as they were too drunk to even stand straight. To think that they were going to drive home in that state was terrifying.
Naah, it was pure evil! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Here's a Hip tip- If a bunch of friends and you have been out drinking, ask someone to be the designated driver. even if the driver downs a few shots, the police will never check him or her, as long as the really drunk guys do all the talking. In any case, please avoid drinking if you are the designated driver.
Oh, and here's my photos from last night....
Something I could barely control as I singlehandedly Destroyed the hopes and aspirations of hundreds of drunken youth who wanted to get more drunk on St. Patrick's day.
It all began with an invitation. A guy I know at work let me know that there would be 'hammered chicks' everywhere, ripe for the picking at this particular bar he was going to after work, and asked me if I'd like to come along for what he termed the 'muffhunt'
Not having had the chance to go out for such a long time, I agreed to his generous offer.
So, after work, a quick shower, and a quick gargle with the mouthwash(in case of the highly unlikely scenario that I would be required to administer mouth-to-moth resuscitation to an unconscious girl{the whole ending-up-with-a-chick scenario is just too fantastical}) I was ready.
All went well, I was sampling some good Irish Whiskey, while everybody else went beserk on the beer, when some really stupid young white guy started fighting. A minor skirmish, nothing more than drunken posturing and shouting and pushing. As the bouncers ejected the errant youth, we all spilled out of the bar to watch.
Here's when I thought of becoming a responsible citizen, and decided to call the cops.
I walked over to the corner, out of sight, and dialed 911. after being put on hold thrice(what if this was a homocide?) I was connected to the ol' deputy. a few cursory questions later, he hung up. By now, everybody had grown tired of the fight and was back to the drinking. and it was about ten minutes later that the sheriff came and ordered the bar to close.
Anger. despair. rage. all of these emotions ran high in the throng of inebriates, and for one second, I was glad that I wisely kept quiet, and did not brag about my honest citizen's duty. That would have got me lynched.
instead, there was this evil laughter. How easy it was to steal joy from the hearts of the drunkards, how delightful! On the other hand, there were people passing out and puking in every parking lot, and they showed no signs of quitting. Maybe I did them a favour. I had to drop off 2 colleagues to their homes, as they were too drunk to even stand straight. To think that they were going to drive home in that state was terrifying.
Naah, it was pure evil! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Here's a Hip tip- If a bunch of friends and you have been out drinking, ask someone to be the designated driver. even if the driver downs a few shots, the police will never check him or her, as long as the really drunk guys do all the talking. In any case, please avoid drinking if you are the designated driver.
Oh, and here's my photos from last night....
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