Those of you who follow this blog with regularity(now there's a minority, anyone at Sachar committee listening?) will know of my previous writings on how I have tried to keep myself in a steady job. I have mentioned the initial days, where a bewildering rush of orders threw me off my guard every day, forcing me to lag behind, only to be bailed out by a patient trainer, and often ending up every day, tired, exhausted and seriously questioning my choice of career.
It's been close to three months since I joined the new job, and for the first time, I am beginning to feel like I am up to the task. The strange thing is, that this realisation, this quiet confidence, and this faith in one's ability seemed to appear out of nowhere. Somewhere along the line, I ceased to count the various milestones, the benchmarks I had set out for myself that reminded me what was lacking in my efforts. Gradually, the apprehension evaporated, and the kernel of doubt dissipated. And I became aware of these things only in the last few days, realising that the story had changed for me even further back than I expected. I had finally developed the capacity to play as a part of a team, and not be a shackle anymore, to keep up the pace, and develop that strange synaptic network that every professional kitchen has. All of this had taken place gradually over the past month or so, but I realised it over the last week itself...Ability is achieved not in a single leap, but tiny, immeasurable shuffles.
Still, I have issues. I do manage to do some pretty stupid things sometimes, but not as much as to be a cause of concern. Nothing unredeemable. Verbal communication with my Hispanic brethren is still dicey, but functional. I do end up feeling useless and worthless at times, but with every beep of an incoming order, who has the time to think of one's piffling emotions?!? Come on, man! Vamos! let's go! Get that order out the window! go! go! go!
Overall, this has been an important lesson for me. Going into a new organization is tough, and you need to be very patient and hard-working in order to get to the level you want to be at, even though it may not be the top of the game. Having a good training environment is equally important, and there will be people who will help you, and those who will spurn you. You have to show your worth, and get their respect. A year ago, this would have certainly meant all sorts of showboating to me, and there was quite a bit of it going on in those heady days at Maurya. Everybody was into it, the sycophancy, the showing-off, and the recklessness...It needs no mention that in the fiefdom that was Maurya, this sort of thing worked. I did manage to sober down a bit and learn a few things from here and there in my 5-month training period, but imagine all that I could have done if I was less of an asshole, if we were all lesser assholes. And it still means the same thing to most young people setting out for their first contact with the real world. We kids are all so reckless...and stupid.
It's been close to three months since I joined the new job, and for the first time, I am beginning to feel like I am up to the task. The strange thing is, that this realisation, this quiet confidence, and this faith in one's ability seemed to appear out of nowhere. Somewhere along the line, I ceased to count the various milestones, the benchmarks I had set out for myself that reminded me what was lacking in my efforts. Gradually, the apprehension evaporated, and the kernel of doubt dissipated. And I became aware of these things only in the last few days, realising that the story had changed for me even further back than I expected. I had finally developed the capacity to play as a part of a team, and not be a shackle anymore, to keep up the pace, and develop that strange synaptic network that every professional kitchen has. All of this had taken place gradually over the past month or so, but I realised it over the last week itself...Ability is achieved not in a single leap, but tiny, immeasurable shuffles.
Still, I have issues. I do manage to do some pretty stupid things sometimes, but not as much as to be a cause of concern. Nothing unredeemable. Verbal communication with my Hispanic brethren is still dicey, but functional. I do end up feeling useless and worthless at times, but with every beep of an incoming order, who has the time to think of one's piffling emotions?!? Come on, man! Vamos! let's go! Get that order out the window! go! go! go!
Overall, this has been an important lesson for me. Going into a new organization is tough, and you need to be very patient and hard-working in order to get to the level you want to be at, even though it may not be the top of the game. Having a good training environment is equally important, and there will be people who will help you, and those who will spurn you. You have to show your worth, and get their respect. A year ago, this would have certainly meant all sorts of showboating to me, and there was quite a bit of it going on in those heady days at Maurya. Everybody was into it, the sycophancy, the showing-off, and the recklessness...It needs no mention that in the fiefdom that was Maurya, this sort of thing worked. I did manage to sober down a bit and learn a few things from here and there in my 5-month training period, but imagine all that I could have done if I was less of an asshole, if we were all lesser assholes. And it still means the same thing to most young people setting out for their first contact with the real world. We kids are all so reckless...and stupid.
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